whine a bit

What? My last entry was exactly a month ago! I've been very busy at work. Actually it wasn't my first year doing or going through the same things, but I don't know somehow this year, I feel it's just tougher.

I've been looking like a zombie these couple of weeks. My very honest friend said I look like shit. Although it can be considered too honest, it's also true. I don't get enough of sleep and even if I'm about sleep, I always think of what I haven't done and I should do the next day.

I know, I know! I should be grateful, shouldn't I? My blood pressure was 120/100 a couple of weeks ago. The nurse (jokingly) informed that I should start calling the undertaker. The truth is it's not a joke and I do need to take good care of myself. I need to stop feeling guilty for not able to finish some of my projects. How can I finish one task, if every 30minutes comes another one?

It's been quite stressful and I feel some of my support systems not working. Everyone knows I don't sweat over small things, but under certain conditions (conditions like this!), I can become very sensitive. Anyway, a couple of nights ago, I decided to work overtime and one of my superiors (probably in the middle of confusions) couldn't find anything else to say to me, then decided to say: You are really working, aren't you, Alex?

At that time, I couldn't think of anything else but going home. But I didn't, I stayed doing what I needed to do. Maybe the nurse is right, I need to start calling the undertaker or simply change. I need to work on eliminating the elements that elicit stress (I love this sentence: eliminate elements that elicit stress. HAHAHA). I cannot fire my superior(s) unfortunately, but I can find a new job. I can start being more dependent or maybe asking for help. I can start not depending on my current support systems. I can pray a little more.

In short, I know, I know! I should be grateful. Sorry, it's Saturday, I just want to whine!

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