quote me

I started blogging as sembiluan since 2008. I always mention how much I love writing and how writing has been saving me from many self-destruction (HEHEHE). It's true. Writing can somehow calm one's down.

Anyway, since I haven't written anything since forever and I'm in the middle of guilty feeling for being too preachy. Anyway, I read some old emails I sent or received. I found quite a few interesting quotes. Some of them are silly, or funny, or even a bit sad. I wrote most of the quotes to my friends.

And here they are.

Life is difficult and I don’t want to wish for an easy one, otherwise I won’t be thick-skin. Work may stress me out and I don’t want to wish it any other way, otherwise I won’t be able to appreciate every hard-earned cent by the end of the month. Romance seems impossible at this time and I’m not rushing myself into it, otherwise I won’t be able to appreciate the right one that comes along later. In short, may your heart (and mine) filled with peace, your mind (and mine) with wisdom and your days (and mine) with blessings.

Have I really told you that I enjoy talking to you? Even most of conversation seem useless to you, they mean a lot. HAHAHAHA. (feel free to go puking). Even now when I know I come to the end of the letter (before I bore you to death), I feel the need to keep writing. HAHAHAHA. Maybe I should tell you I got a new scanner *so not important* or these couple of weeks I've been staring at my blackberry and hoping you send me something!!! HAHAHAHAHA. Okay, that's stupid. Stupidity is the sign one must go.

Anyway, have you ever felt that you want something that you cannot have? I guess that's how I describe our friendship. Okay, that's just not fair. I wanted to say I love being your friend, what worse is sometimes I feel my enthusiasm is way too much and it might have scared the big shit out of you and secretly you pushed me away.That's prejudice, I admit it.

Then you know I'm a very curious little guy. I went on googling about how true the story of Rose Dawson. I found out that there was a survivor from the big ship of Titanic who lived in Cedar Rapids. Her name is Millvina Dean. Then of course, she didn't throw a big diamond necklace into the deep ocean (I would be devastated if the diamond story was true).

whine a bit

What? My last entry was exactly a month ago! I've been very busy at work. Actually it wasn't my first year doing or going through the same things, but I don't know somehow this year, I feel it's just tougher.

I've been looking like a zombie these couple of weeks. My very honest friend said I look like shit. Although it can be considered too honest, it's also true. I don't get enough of sleep and even if I'm about sleep, I always think of what I haven't done and I should do the next day.

I know, I know! I should be grateful, shouldn't I? My blood pressure was 120/100 a couple of weeks ago. The nurse (jokingly) informed that I should start calling the undertaker. The truth is it's not a joke and I do need to take good care of myself. I need to stop feeling guilty for not able to finish some of my projects. How can I finish one task, if every 30minutes comes another one?

It's been quite stressful and I feel some of my support systems not working. Everyone knows I don't sweat over small things, but under certain conditions (conditions like this!), I can become very sensitive. Anyway, a couple of nights ago, I decided to work overtime and one of my superiors (probably in the middle of confusions) couldn't find anything else to say to me, then decided to say: You are really working, aren't you, Alex?

At that time, I couldn't think of anything else but going home. But I didn't, I stayed doing what I needed to do. Maybe the nurse is right, I need to start calling the undertaker or simply change. I need to work on eliminating the elements that elicit stress (I love this sentence: eliminate elements that elicit stress. HAHAHA). I cannot fire my superior(s) unfortunately, but I can find a new job. I can start being more dependent or maybe asking for help. I can start not depending on my current support systems. I can pray a little more.

In short, I know, I know! I should be grateful. Sorry, it's Saturday, I just want to whine!